Coming to terms with emptiness

An undated fragment from a notebook written following the unexpected death of brother in law Eddie Colvill on St Luke's Day, but given the date of All Souls Day.

How can I write my tears?

Where can I set them down

and gaze at the wonder

of love that gave them birth?

There is only aching

restless misery in

endless moments of loss

transfixed by the void here

between the fullness of the past

and a future yet to be revealed

whatever it may contain,

good or ill.

All certainty is gone

Seemingly helpless

faced only with

the perennial struggle

to conquer fear

to be found by peace

in the eternal present.

JKK 02/11/2015

The toast

Written in Nerja after attending the banquet of a young couple whose marriage I had blessed earlier in the day.



The toast

Long life and happiness

was what they wished for you

at each stage of your journey.

Setting out alone or together,

In parting and re-union.

the lasting gift of good will -

love in the sign of a raised cup.

And always,

the barely audible question

uneasily voiced – how long?

How long does joy or sorrow last?

How long is waiting - together or apart?

Living provides all the answers.

As time passes, each new toast proposed,

the same question is tinged,

less with fear and more with gratitude;

for all that has been, still is and ever will be.

How long – we’ve had? And have been blessed!

The light of life well lived shines on,

despite the end to come.

It’s not that darkness overwhelms

as our poor light seems to pale

and fade to nothingness.

It’s unseen, uncreated light

that hides us, in love’s incandesence

abiding at last where truly we belong.

JKK 16.05.15